Mortal Instrument Drabbles
by Shuichi Saito
Summary: A series of drabbles centered around our favourite Shadowhunters in particular situations. Includes the majority of canon pairings and also includes additonal characters such as Simon and Magnus. From -attempting- at playing Pictionary to teaching Isabelle to cook; these drabbles don't give away any important spoilers. Malec Clace and Simabelle.


**(Going through my computer and found a whole document dedicated to a load of little 'stories' based around prompts. I thought I might as well post them, despite the fact I'm on Hiatus. I hope you like them though)**

Characters involved: Isabelle, Alexander, Jace, Clary, Simon, Magnus and Chairman Meow.  
Warnings: Mild adult themes, some swearing.  
Notes: Apologies for any spelling and grammar issues, I've read this more than a dozen times but alas! Some errors might escape my eye. 

**Bold: The prompt  
**_'Italics': Thoughts._

**In which Jace witnesses Alexander and Magnus making out.**

There are quite a few unpleasant things Jace had come across during his lifetime. Isabelle's cooking, for example; why she thought soy sauce and cream cheese would taste nice together was beyond him, but thankfully he managed to scrape the food into a napkin and dispose it quickly before it turned radioactive. Clary during her 'time-of-the-month' was also an unpleasant and very unwanted experience, she got short-tempered and snappy. However, nothing quite beats the sight of seeing your brother engage in a frantic battle of tonsil tennis with his sparkly boyfriend.

And it wasn't an innocent peck on the lips either; it was the kind of thing that looked like it had dropped straight out some risqué porn movie – something he hadn't expected his painfully oblivious Pārbati to be doing mid-morning on the couch. It suddenly struck Jace that he needed to break things up when Alec let out a little pleased noise as Magnus' hand gripped the waistband of his slacks and tried to tug them down.

"Please stop" Jace choked out, his free hand covering his eyes while the other clutched his bowl of cereal "I actually want to eat my cereal and watch the news, something I can't do if you're going at it like rabbits"

Alec let out a little shriek, pulling away from Magnus with an expression of pure embarrassment Magnus merely grinned coly and leant back, crossing slim arms over his front. "Enjoy the show?" He questioned, and Jace shook his head, he instead decided to sit on the chair nearer the TV, pointedly avoiding looking at them as he switched it on.

"I'm emotionally scarred" He said eventually through a mouthful of cereal "I was like 5 seconds away from seeing my brother's junk. You don't know how disturbing that is"

"I assure you there's nothing disturbing about your brothers 'junk'; it's actually quite the opposite" Magnus drawled. Alec groaned and hid his pink face in his hands.

"And on that note I'm going to head upstairs and cleanse my ears with bleach" Jace winced, heading for the lift "Try not to dirty up the couch and please keep the noise to a minimum"

"I can't guarantee that" Magnus' honeyed voice called back.

Jace sighed. Yes, walking in on the dynamic duo as they got it defiantly was the most unpleasant thing he'd come across. '_Closely followed by soggy cereal' _he thought grimly as he eyed the remains of frosted flakes in his bowl.

**In which Magnus sucks at drawing and the others make fun of him**

"What in fucks name is that?" Jace said, eyebrows drawn together in confusion "Looks like your pen has explosive diarrhoea"

"If I said what it was it would go against the rules of the game" Magnus snapped irritably "And your face looks like diarrhoea"

"Please guys, enough with the diarrhoea bash-talk. Is it a pineapple?" Isabelle asked, eyeing the –rather…well…awful- drawing on the sketchpad "Or a mango or something. Kinda looks like that house thing that yellow rectangle lived in from that show Simon made me watch"

"Spongebob" Simon corrected her "And I think it's a pineapple too"

Clary sighed and rubbed her temples; the others in the café restaurant were glancing over curiously due to the noise coming from their booth. She sort of regretted suggesting that they attempted to play some 'mundane' games after a rather tiresome day of demon hunting.

"It's not a freaking pineapple" Magnus cried out in frustration, forcibly slamming a fist down on the table; Clary sent a nearby waitress an apologetic look as she scuttled away. "After 30 minutes surely you would have guessed what it was" He said.

Jace gave him a sidelong look as he sipped on his chocolate milkshake "It's not our fault your drawings are shit"

"My drawings are perfect" Magnus hissed "It's called abstract art"

"It's called shit art" Jace bit back.

Magnus whined pathetically and gave his boyfriend a pleading look "I'm not shit at art am I?"

"Of course not" Alec blurted out quickly, he suddenly looked much more interested in stirring his mug of coffee than the game of Pictionary. "I think you're fantastic at art"

Magnus preened a little, shooting the others a look of triumph. But his moment of happiness was crushed when Simon suggested "If you think he's so great at art, what is it he drew, Alec?". Isabelle grinned and regarded her older brother with glee, noting how the sudden attention turned him an alarming shade of red.

"I…ugh…" Alec mumbled, looking intently at the sketchpad Magnus was holding in front of him "Is it spaghetti?" As Magnus' eyes watered Alec quickly said "I was joking! I don't think it's spaghetti…is it...ugh…"

"Well?" Simon asked, grinning.

"I think…I think I have to pee" Alec mumbled, jumping up from the table so fast he nearly knocked an elderly man to the floor. With a rushed apology, he made a mad dash towards the men's bathroom; leaving behind the cackling Shadowhunters and the disheartened Warlock.

Magnus grumbled and took a large gulp of his Hazelnut Latté "By the way; it's a drawing of a Rhino"

"I've never seen a Rhino with those proportions before"

"Shut up Wayland or I'll castrate you with a fork"

**In which Clary attempts at teaching Isabelle to cook.**

"Okay, this is seriously easy to make. And it only takes about half an hour – I assure you the guys will love you if you serve them this"

"What exactly are we making again?"

"Risotto" Clary said, she hummed lightly under her breath as she flicked through the recipe book; turning the pages carefully. "More specifically, smoked salmon and pea risotto". Clary smiled as she felt Jace wrapped his arms around his waist and pressed a kiss to the side of her neck. Typical, whenever there was something going on Jace always had to know about it.

"What can't we just eat take-out?" Isabelle continued "And my cooking skills are amazing. The guys ate my beetroot and marshmallow soup yesterday" She turned to Jace "You liked that soup didn't you?"

"That beetroot turned my puke pink when I vomited that 'soup' back up" Jace informed her.

"Okay. We're ready to start, pass me the risotto rice please" Clary said. Isabelle tied the apron around her waist before rummaging around in the cupboard. She appeared a few moments later and tossed the bag of rice to Clary – to which she easily caught.

"This is pudding rice. We need risotto rice"

"Same thing" Isabelle shrugged.

Clary chewed the inside of her mouth "But…" She began.

"I know what I'm doing! Let me do this" Isabelle interrupted, she grabbed the bag from Clary's hands and poured a fair amount into the pan of boiling water. Clary looked in helplessly and Jace winced.

"Isabelle, I supposed to be teaching you how to-"

"You don't need to teach me anything. It was a stupid suggestion Jace said" Isabelle said, looking at the recipe book "I'll just follow the method in the book and it will turn out perfectly. I'm going to show you how fantastic my cooking skills are" She waved the wooden spoon around and Jace slowly backed out of the kitchen in fear of being hit. Clary sighed and ran her hand through her thick hair "Okay then" She said eventually "It should turn out okay if you follow the recipe"

"I promise you you'll be asking for seconds" Isabelle grinned, waving at Clary to get out the kitchen.

*(Break in prompt)*

"What in God's name is that?" Jace whispered under his breath as Isabelle put the large bowl in the centre of the table. Clary thought she saw Alec cross himself as Isabelle put a healthy serving on his plate. She then moved on, putting an equally as large helping on both Clary and Jace's plate; lastly, she put some on her own plate and sat down, a large smile on her face.

"Well, tuck in" She said and she put a spoonful in her mouth, the others watched as Isabelle chewed before swallowing and sighing in happiness "Delicious"

Clary shrugged, maybe Isabelle had followed the recipe correctly and the meal was somewhat decent; after all the black haired girl was indeed tucking into the said meal. Her thoughts were quickly squashed however when Jace made a gagging noise from beside her.

"Everything okay?" Isabelle asked.

"Peachy" Jace said, hacking into a napkin "Some of the orange peel just went down the wrong way"

Isabelle scrunched her eyebrows together in confusion "I didn't use orange peel?"

"What's this then?" Alec asked. He was holding his fork out towards Isabelle; some indescribable orange-coloured piece of something dangling from the end. Alec regarded it with a wary expression, the kind one might wear while trying to back away from a growling dog.

"Silly!" Isabelle giggled "That's smoked salmon"

"Oh…yeah, right. Silly me" Alec mumbled, he gingerly put the salmon in his mouth and chewed deliberately "Mmm, delicious" He said eventually, in what Clary thought was the worst acting ever.

"Why did you put bullets in it?" Jace questioned "Or are they little pellets of poison?"

Isabelle ground her teeth together in frustration "They're peas"

The table went into a rather uncomfortable silence.

"Say something nice" Clary whispered in Jace's ear "You've upset her. And despite how disgusting this risotto is; she did spent a lot of time and effort making it – just to please us" Jace sighed in defeat and dramatically put his cutlery down; making both Alec and Isabelle look up. Alec chose the distraction to spoon some of his food quickly onto Isabelle's plate.

"I really appreciate the time and effort you put into making this meal" Jace said, and Isabelle smiled lightly – eyes full of sisterly affection for the young man whom she considered a brother. "I mean…" Jace continued "I never knew orange peel and bullets would taste so lovely together. Shame I'm going to vomit it back up soon"

*(Break in prompt)*

"Hurhhhts"

"Hold still"

"Sherrishousy, it reahhly hurhhrts"

"You sound like a snake" Alec piped up.

"Not helping" Clary said back, tilting her boyfriend's head back to get a better view of his swollen jaw. She ignored his hiss of pain as she pressed the ice firmly against the red skin. Who knew Isabelle could pack a punch like that.

**In which Chairman Meow has knots in his fur; and Alec is the designated pet groomer.**

He spotted the note when he was happily tucking into his bacon sandwich, legs propped up on the coffee table with a glass of orange juice in his hand and the news blaring in the background. It was attached to the fridge with a piece of tape and upon closer inspection it read_ 'Hey babe, don't forget you said you'd groom Meow for me. I'll be back soon and hopefully we can get some 'alone time' before you have to leave. I should be back around 11. Magnus xx'. _He ignored the last part, because seriously, whenever Magnus suggested that they make out (Or anything along those lines) he was painfully reminded of the incident a couple of days ago when Jace walked in. His eyes homed in on the first part – he couldn't remember promising to groom that little ball of pure hell; but he knew he'd better get it over and done with if he didn't want to deal with a sulky Magnus.

Chairman Meow was actually quite easy to locate, Alec just had to follow the remains of half-eaten socks to the bed. Crouching down, he peered under the bed only to see a pair of gleaming eyes stare back at him.

"Chairman Meow" Alec sang in that annoying 'cat-voice' Isabelle used with Church. He edged the grooming brush gradually closer to the cat "Come on. I need to brush you"

Meow hissed, ears flat against his head as he darted out from under the bed and disappeared from the room. Alec groaned and got to his feet, running his hand through his shaggy hair in annoyance. He stopped abruptly however, when he heard the sound of breaking plates as they hit the floor.

"Meow!" Alec yelled, skidding into the kitchen – his eyes widened in horror at the sight. Thankfully, he realised that the bloody cat hadn't injured itself, but had instead jumped up onto the counter (Piled with dirty plates, which were now scattered across the floor) and knocked over a bottle of ketchup; spilling the red sauce all over his white fur.

"Oh my god" Alec groaned in frustration, he looked at the clock. He'd got an hour left before Magnus was due back, enough time to make it look like a mass murder hadn't happened in his apartment. He nearly slipped on the ketchup as he tried to get to Chairman Meow, trying to grab at him before the little creature made another dash for it. Meow hissed again, not looking bothered by the fact ketchup was dripping off his fur and leapt off the counter and landed in a what would have been graceful way. However, the little cat slipped on the ketchup and went skidding across the tiled floor leaving behind ominous trails of red behind him. Alec ran after him, bumping into the island in the kitchen while doing so; which only succeeded in knocking the pot of cutlery to the floor amongst the broken plates and puddles of ketchup.

However, he gave a cry of victory when his hand closed around the scruff of the feline's neck, he gingerly held the snarling cat up at a distance.

"What-"

Alec's head snapped up, meeting his boyfriend's eyes. His boyfriend who was leaning against the doorframe to the kitchen. His amber eyes scanned the state of the kitchen, the broken plates, the scattered cutlery and lastly to the ketchup covered cat being held in Alec's arms.

"You're back early" Alec said. He paused, glaring at Chairman Meow as that evil cat decided to start wailing as if he was in pain. Little fucker "Honestly Magnus, it's not what it looks like"

Magnus sighed and snapped his fingers, instantly the ketchup vanished from the room and the cutlery flew back off the ground and onto the counter –causing Alec to dodge a steak knife that narrowly missed his face-, lastly the broken bits of china collected into a little pile by the bin.

"One hour" Magnus said, and Alec didn't know if he was actually upset or putting it on. The sparkly guy always liked a bit of dramatics "I was gone one hour and you managed to do all that" he paused and looked at Chairman Meow "And you still haven't brushed his fur"

"Sorry-" Alec rambled. But Magnus held up his hand to stop him talking, crossing the kitchen in long strides. He did a strange sort of wave with his hand before clicking his fingers, blue sparks showered over Chairman Meow and within seconds the cats tangled mess of fur was silky and brushed. The cat purred loudly and leapt from Alec's arms, running back towards the bedroom.

"You…" Alec huffed "You just did that snappy fingers thing and brushed him! What, why did you get me to brush him?"

"I forgot" Magnus grinned. He was obviously enjoying Alec's anger.

"You forgot you could do that voodoo magic!? You did this on purpose. You _knew_ he was going to be a right pain. You knew!"

Magnus laughed loudly.

**Isabelle, Alec and Jace address Simon's nerdy shirts.**

"Simon. We're doing this because we love you" Isabelle said.

"I'm here for the food" Jace added.

"I don't know why I'm here" Alec frowned.

"Actually yeah, why is Alec here?" Jace asked "I mean, it's not like he dresses any better than Rat-Boy"

"Shut up Jace! Stop bringing up that rat incident" Simon snapped, but then he paused and looked at Isabelle "My fashion sense is okay. I mean, not everything had to be coloured co-ordinated and all that". Isabelle sighed and retrieved a magazine from her bag; she slid it across the table towards her boyfriend. Simon grimaced at the sight, a magazine for men's fashion. "I want you to look through this and tomorrow, I want you to pick me up for our date wearing something decent"

"Whoopie" Simon said sarcastically.

"I'm serious. If you don't change your style I'm going to dump you. And also, try to be a little more…well…cooler" Isabelle got up from the table and smoothed down her dress. To Simon's annoyance a couple of guys from a nearby table grinned over at her; they were dressed exactly like the guys in the stupid magazine she gave him. Okay then, surely it couldn't be too hard – changing clothing styles.

**In which Simon fails at being 'cool'.**

"Hey babe, you're looking groovy this evening"

"Oh dear god no" Isabelle mumbled under her breath, nevertheless she plastered on a loving smile and turned to look at her boyfriend. Thankfully they'd decided to visit a new Italian restaurant out of town so she wouldn't bump into anyone she knew.

"You look well fit" Simon said. He added in a dodgy wink or added effect – that's what these gangsta did nowadays, didn't they? And they always did these gang signs that the girls seemed to like. He threw in a peace sign, better be safe than sorry. Isabelle seemed to look happy, her smile seemed a little forced though; but Simon was sure that was the shock of how hip and trendy he looked.

"Do I look fresh?" Simon asked, he did a little spin and stumbled when the jeans that had been resting low on his hips slid down, revealing his Sonic underpants. He quickly tugged them back up and did another peace sign to rescue the situation.

'_Fresh?'_ Isabelle thought inwardly _'What the heck does that mean?"_

"Isabelle?" A deep voice questioned, and the young woman turned to see none other than her brother and his boyfriend. At least Magnus had attempted at injecting some style into his wardrobe. While still wearing all black, his sweater was obviously new and didn't hang around his thighs.

"What are you doing here? Don't tell me you're here to go to that new restaurant too?" Isabelle asked. Magnus –decked in violet leather hotpants and a mesh shirt- shook his head, he looked rather amused at Simon's clothing "No, we're just going to grab a burger and head home"

"Yo babe, why don't we catch a burger too" Simon said. Alec's eyebrows furrowed "Catch burgers? I wasn't aware that burgers had the ability to fly" He questioned, Simon ignored him. Alec obviously didn't know what it was to be cool; he didn't understand the hip phrases.

"No, we'll go to this new restaurant instead" Isabelle said _'Because nobody I know will be there'_ She added inwardly.

"Okay then, I guess we should be heading off because the burger joint closes" Alec said, he waved them goodbye and headed off down the path with Magnus following closely behind him; the Warlock paused and glanced at the other two over his shoulder "I'm loving the new wardrobe" He called, chuckling at Isabelle's pleading look.

"Thanks bro" Simon yelled back. He saw Isabelle's pleading look, maybe she wanted another gang sign? He did a double peace sign, they did that in Japan right? It obviously worked because Isabelle grabbed his arm and dragged him away, presumably to a dark alley so they could make out.

See, Simon could be gangsta.


End file.
